Aug
29th
Sat
29th
[REDACTED] is a lazy fuck. Pets rocks have more initiative. He’s got a can-do attitude, specifically “what CAN the company DO for me?” His resume is a pack of vicious lies stolen from resumes of other coworkers. Somehow, he had managed to rack up three sexual harassment claims in one day, despite the continued questions regarding his sexual preference. He regularly consumes alcohol to and from the office, as well as stronger varieties on the job. During baseball season, he’s actually more productive as he rarely shows up, leaving less of a destructive wake for others to reconcile. He operates very consistently in a matrix-management environment as he can torpedo efforts in multiple divisions simulataneously. Despite threatening legal action against former employers to for his “having to endure week-long cases of the Monday’s” he’s not nearly as bad-ass as the shaved dome would imply. He does, however, have long “monkey arms”; helping to provide a quality upper-management reach-around.
— When LinkedIn Recommendations go wrong.
